And there was another lump

“I found a room in a flatshare!

“Oooooh”

“And I also found a lump on my breast”

This is how I broke the news to the first friends I saw on my first visit to London after moving back home to Barcelona.  Yes, because after all my cancer treatment was done and dusted I was finally able to get on with the move that the cancer prevented me from doing.

And for the past 3 months I have been enjoying the Mediterranean weather, eating lovely food, spending time with friends and family and generally being happy. I have now found a room in a beautiful flat in the centre of town, and I am so excited about it. BUT, the cancer threat has come back to put an overcast on all my plans. I am back to that horrible time when you find a lump and you have to get it tested to find out what it is. I can’t believe that just 18 months later I am back here.

It was the day I was coming to London that I found the “fucker”, as I want to refer to it from now on.  I was packing away,  when, I don’t know how, I noticed a little hard lump on my chest wall, near the breast where I had no cancer. Of course I went white, I didn’t know what to do. Should I call someone? I composed myself, finished packing and got on with the trip. Of course, tears came flooding as I was sitting in the train station cafe (after missing my train). And then again on my train trip.  And then again on different occasions during the last few days.

It is so strange, to be back in the city where it all happened with another lump on my breast. Of course,  I am bracing myself for the worse. After all, once upon a time I had a lump and everyone around me said “it will probably be nothing” and then it was something. It was cancer. Why should it be different this time?

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4 responses to “And there was another lump

  1. Roas I am so sorry to hear that you are worrying about another lump!
    I’m hoping that you get it checked out soon and that it turns out to be nothing (or maybe just fibrocystic changes in your breast).
    I’ll be thinking about you and looking forward to your next post when you tell us all that it was nothing.
    In the meantime try to enjoy London!

    • Thanks marie! i will keep you all informed. as you can imagine i am terrified! it’s not cancer that scared me, but the thought that I may have to do chemo again…hardest thing i’ve done in my life.

  2. Cariño, espero nos des buenas noticias en breve… un abrazo muy fuerte

  3. Pingback: Weeks…41 and…? « Hair growth after chemo

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